Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize