your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
