We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
