I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
