worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
