just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
