It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
