I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
