New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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