that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
