her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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