DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I need to calm my uterus...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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