i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
