Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
