We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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