we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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