We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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