I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
