Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like death gave me a hand job
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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