New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
