i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
