Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
