it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
