His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize