At least make sure they are 18
Why
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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