I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
