I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
