quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
