Sry I called you an 8
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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