Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
