on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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