dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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