Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
