You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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