I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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