I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
