he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
