I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
