I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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