hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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