Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just forgot I was standing up.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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