i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
