Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
