next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
