I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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