You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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