she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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