Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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