I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A bitchslap is in order.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Never underestimate the power of titties
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
