what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
