I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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