I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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