she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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