Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
