I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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