i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
