So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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