I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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