I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
