Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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