let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What drink are we having for lunch?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
