shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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