Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
